I’m not like Micaela. I second-guess, hesitate, and become skeptical when a promising door is opened to me. I look at my query letter for an article or proposal for a manuscript and try to argue myself into believing that I’m not ready to venture forward. Not yet. Maybe in a month. Maybe in a year. Maybe.
In agony I look through that doorway, the doorway that God has lovingly left open for me. My fear and self-doubts make my feet heavy.
A few months ago I was reading Unleash the Writer Within by Cecil Murphey when I fell upon a statement that reordered my world. “If you’re the kind who holds back, who wants to make it ‘just a little better,’ take a big risk. Let it go.”
As I read those words I felt God nudge my heart. Much of where I am and what I am doing has aligned me for success. Matthew 7:8 says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." I have prayed for God to help me move forward in my dream of writing. But that doorway, the one I prayed for Him to open, is ominous with the unknown.
There are days I wish I was more like my special needs daughter, Micaela. She is two and only recently learned how to do some forward motion. She drags herself around in a bear crawl that looks difficult and exhausting, but she couldn’t be happier. The world is open to her. She wants to go into that next room and find that next adventure. She does not crave comfort. She hungers for change.
As a writer, this venturing forth takes so much from us. It takes hard work as we prepare, courage as we offer our work to the eyes of others, and prayer as we take faith that God will open the right doors at the right time.
As I drug Micaela away yet again from the open doorway I took a deep breath. It is time. If the doorway is open then I must trust my Heavenly Father. Time to get those feet moving.
Quote taken from Unleash the Writer Within by Cecil Murphey
Bible verse quoted from the New International Version